AVOID USING PLATITUDES TO EXPRESS EMPATHY

When intending to show empathy for someone who is experiencing a traumatic event such as death of a loved one, job loss, diagnosis of a terminal illness, avoid remarks with a moral content.  Urging a positive attitude on someone who is in a traumatic state conveys well-intentioned but unkind support. Expressions of sympathy require careful listening and crafting a thoughtful response that acknowledges the other person's feelings.  The following platitudes chide someone for not being positive, brave or grateful, and  leaves them feeling that they are to blame and should have done better. 

1. Grief and Loss: "This teaches you to always be grateful for what you have."
2. Illness:  "You need to have a better attitude if you want to beat this."
3. Divorce:  "Others love positive people, so raise the altitude of your attitude."
4. Job loss:  "You knew what you were getting yourself into when you took the job."
5. Weight gain:  "If you've gained weight, no one can seriously notice." (It is best to avoid false compliments in general.)
6. A traumatic event:  "You're so brave, but at least it could be worse."